Pandemic Media » college

Would YOU Date My Avatar??

Ashley King — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 16:15:57 +0000

As someone who has never had the time nor the interest in playing videogames (especially not since I developed a chronic case of tennis elbow from dabbling in the art of Wii Fit), I find it difficult to understand the seemingly overwhelming draw to the game World of Warcraft, and even harder to fully comprehend the enormous cult following which has spawned from it. The whole thing just seems a little bit Dungeons and Dragons to me, albeit a 21^st century version - which essentially just means that nerdy medieval themed games have seriously upped their technology quotient in order to target a bigger, less outwardly geeky audience.

That being said, you gotta love a videogame loser who can at least admit to their social short-fallings and conversational awkwardness, which is exactly what the comedians at The Guild are best at. This six-person team is responsible for producing an award winning web series by the same name, which chronicles the trials, tribulations, and virtual quests of a group of online gamers.

Even the WoW-uneducated will have to laugh at the rockin’ music video below, which mocks not only the game, but also the culture which has been forged around it. My favorite part is the inclusion of an imaginative little rap at about the 2-minute mark. Check it out, and if you like what you see, go to http://www.watchtheguild.com to watch episodes of the web series in full.

Man Vs. Girls Gone Wild

Ashley King — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 19:50:50 +0000

Two things:

A) I love Bear Grylls, and his ridiculous excuse for a nature-themed reality TV show.

B) I also love anything making fun of Bear Grylls and his ridiculous excuse for a nature-themed reality TV show – which is why I almost wet my pants at the hilarity of the video below.

From the masterminds at Collegehumour.com comes a fantastic parody of Man Vs. Wild, set in the wild frontier of a dorm-room bash. So get out your notepads, fellow adventurers and explorers, and try to jot down as many tips as possible, so that you too can avoid starvation and death the next time you crash a wild University party.

Battle of the Douches

Ashley King — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 15:53:00 +0000

For all of those guys who roll into the club dripping with bedazzled Ed Hardy gear, let this video serve as a warning – nobody (aside from drunken girls with loose morals, among other things) likes a douche! So un-pop that collar, loose the tilted visor, and chuck the ‘tude to the curb… Or you could find yourself at the DOUCHE OFF FINALS!

If you think Luke and Joe are as awesome as I do, then check out their site at BaratsandBereta.com where you can watch tons of their vids, get info about their production company, and find out where to catch them do live improv

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

The Ideal College for the Perpetual Underachiever

Ashley King — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 20:51:00 +0000

Well, the first week of classes have drawn to a close at last, and already there is the scent of change in the air. Let’s face it – every year thousands of naive and hopeful young freshmen flood the halls of their newly adopted Colleges and Universities, their pocket books emptied of their tuition, and their cheeks flushed with the excitement and expectations of first year.

Fast forward three weeks, and the scene will have changed quite considerably. The aforementioned freshmen will still be broke, but they will also have grown wise to the false representations they were once entranced with during University scouting season. All year long, school recruiters and PR teams stay busy sculpting their respective faculty images into perfect pictures of post-secondary success, all in an attempt to lure in a fateful group of unknowing prospective students to swell their ranks each fall.

This means that a lot of students are offered a lot of things that either end up to be untrue, or simply aren’t followed through with. That is why YOU should check out Quendelton State University, where you get exactly what you see… and that’s about it.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Dear Nick; A Message From The Toughest Mother Fucker Still Living With His Mother

Ashley King — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 15:00:27 +0000

College students beware!

What happens when you move to attend university in Boston, and decide to post a friendly message on a childhood friend’s facebook wall, but because he is an illiterate drunk he is unable to decipher what all of the shapes and squiggles mean?

He takes to the World Wide Web and posts a video of himself drinking profusely, slurring like a homeless person, and head banging to bad rap music, that’s what! Check out this YouTube vlog, in which a wannabe hard-ass Guido bitches and complains about some money his former pal owes him, while chugging back petrone and attempting to act like he would actually have the balls to cut someone up. Although he might toss around the term “nigga” like its going out of style, I can guarantee you this white boy from the ‘burbs would change his tone should he wander too far from his mother’s 60′s ranch style home and into a black neighborhood where real gangsters exist.

My favorite part of the whole thing is the numerous underlying themes of homosexuality; first he threatens to make the trip (on the bus of course, because real tough guys don’t work steady jobs or own cars) to Boston so as to sleep in this guy’s bed, then he claims he will slap around the roommate, the RA, and some of the kid’s professors (which really just translates into his desire for a masochistic orgy); after which he says “I’m gonna fuck you up” or something along those lines (threat or promise? You decide), all while his buddy dances around semi-naked in the background. Yeah, that’s about as scary as Mr. Rogers (which can be taken in a number of ways, children)

In the end however, I think we can all agree that whoever this mysterious Nick is, it is safe to say that he has no reason to be afraid… all he has to do is install one of those childproof handles on his dorm room door and he’ll be set. (cause I doubt this guy can wipe his own ass by himself, let alone crack a system designed to keep a two year old out of cupboards.)

The March of Shame

Ashley King — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 17:02:33 +0000

The often-outrageous coital enterprises of college students has been the subject of countless movies, television shows, and jokes (as well as cause for mass parental concern) for almost as long as co-ed universities have been around. Take a walk through any dormitory or frat house, at any university, in any country, and take a deep breathe of post-secondary educated air. What’s that you smell? Some may claim its teen spirit, but I know better; swirls of sexual desperation waft throughout the halls, inebriating its inhabitants with a drive to fornicate which borders on obsessive.

Animal House, Road Trip, and Van Wilder are just a few major motion pictures to cash in on the sexual exploits which taint dorm-room halls and fuel audience interest in the subject, and while they were all undoubtedly funny, they also share the same played out storyline; crazy, drunken college boy(s) go to extreme lengths to get laid and avoid school work. Very rarely does the audience ever learn anything about the women in question, simply because, to be frank, they don’t matter one bit to either the characters in the movie or the plot in general; they are just there, sluts in miniskirts hired to make guys hard, who conveniently disappear without a trace after the humping has commenced.

Well that is all about to change! Get ready to take a journey into the female experience, with this hilarious mockumentary which parodies March of the Penguins, from the masterminds at collegehumour.com.

Back to School Bro-ski Anthem

Ashley King — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 16:27:40 +0000

To the disappoinment of students everywhere, Frosh week has drawn to a messy, drunken close, as universities and colleges across the nation prepare to return to the classroom. After a full week of jello shots, pranks, and recklessly casual sex, the first years are waking up sober for the first time and opening their semi-innocent, somewhat bloodshot eyes with excitement. In honour of the first official week of classes, I will be posting a college related video every day, which means that as the football team retires their adult sized diapers for another year (because streaking is, of course, a frosh week tradition taken quite seriously), all that you have to do is log on and enjoy!

This first video isn’t new, but it most certainly is relevant. The bi-annual Greek Rush will soon be upon us, and so in celebration of Fraternity brothers and Sorority sisters everywere, I present to you the cheesy but high-larious Brohemian Rhapsody.

Until tomorrow, stay in school kids….

Hit By A Pitch?

Shane Copland — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 14:30:15 +0000

In this video a guy tries to “fake a beaner©”, because it’s not like people would be paying attention to the batter, or the ball.

That being said, he did fool me. Maybe I’m going blind or it could be my trusting nature? Whatever it is, I admit this knowing full well it puts my future as a big league umpire in jeopardy, more so than the fact that I never wanted to be an umpire in the first place. So in the end everybody wins; I don’t get dirt kicked on me and baseball doesn’t have to put up with the laziest, most unprofessional and “gambley” umpire the game has ever seen.

I digress; back to the video: He had good instincts, what sold me was he doesn’t hesitate. It’s as if he approached the at-bat thinking “Fuck it, if the ball comes anywhere near me I’m ‘faking a beaner©’ ” (You’ll notice, I’ve copyrighted “fake a beaner”, so govern yourself accordingly).

This video exposes a truth in sports; cheating is a sign you really want to win. We’re all familiar with the old saying “If you ain’t cheating, you suck!” (I may not have that 100% accurate). Point is; we need more players sinking to despicable depths for a W. Why aren’t Wide-Receivers inflating footballs in the end-zone then screaming touchdown? When will boxers start tripping their opponents, rapidly counting to ten and running away? The biggest question is why aren’t teams having a replica of their respective sport’s championship trophy made and declaring victory? Sure the other team has video evidence, but some say they staged the moon landing, so why not try it? In fact, I’m going on record now to claim that every single Red Wings Stanley Cup victory was a hoax and should be awarded to the Toronto Maple Leafs.