Oh. My. God. This happened.
No, I’m not referring to the Jonai donning well-fitted wifebeaters or skinny jean sto the approval of preteens everywhere, I’m talking about their “hardcore” attempt to come across as legit rock stars.
First, let me state that I don’t have anything against the Jonas Brothers. No, I don’t listen to their music or know any of their songs, but I understand every generation needs token heartthrobs. JTT, Leo and BSB were mine – The Jonai are simply the equivalent of a pre-Timbaland influenced Justin Timberlake.
But none of my heartthrobs did this. My future husbands (circa 1996 – 2000) were aware of their pop status and embraced their head-piece microphones and choreographed dance moves wholeheartedly. I mean, yes, the Jonai play instruments (Jonas Brothers: 1; NSync: 0), they write their own songs (Do they? I’m trying to be diplomatic) and they don’t perform jaw-dropping dance sequences, but they are not “rock stars”. They are not the Beatles, they are not the Rolling Stones; they are not the White Stripes and they are not Radiohead. And that’s alright. They don’t have to be. …But do they know that? Have they been informed?
I ask this after watching the following video. In it, you will see the Jonai beating on their drum kit like it murdered their family; beaming vindictively as they stab it multiple times while it begs for mercy. NOT COOL, JONAI. NOT COOL.
First, anybody who actually loves music would not deface a drum kit for the sake of seeming “hardcore”. Jimmy Hendrix lit his guitar on fire because he was Jimmy Hendrix. Other guitar-destroying rock acts usually earn the right to fuck shit up. When the Jonai start shooting heroin and changing rock and roll as we know it, destroy away.
Second, what did the drum kit do to deserve this? Some of us were near tears as it was brutalized to the cheers of thousands of girls. Is this what it was like in Roman times? Was Joaquin Phoenix’s Gladiator character hiding in the stadium somewhere nodding in approval?
Third, have I re-iterated that the Jonas Brothers are a Disney child pop act? “Disney” anything = not hardcore. …Unless you’re referring to the magntitude of personal problems that will undoubtedly stem from being shoved into the spotlight by OCD stage moms. Just sayin’.
I leave it at that. Stay gold, drum kit. Stay gold.
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