College students beware!
What happens when you move to attend university in Boston, and decide to post a friendly message on a childhood friend’s facebook wall, but because he is an illiterate drunk he is unable to decipher what all of the shapes and squiggles mean?
He takes to the World Wide Web and posts a video of himself drinking profusely, slurring like a homeless person, and head banging to bad rap music, that’s what! Check out this YouTube vlog, in which a wannabe hard-ass Guido bitches and complains about some money his former pal owes him, while chugging back petrone and attempting to act like he would actually have the balls to cut someone up. Although he might toss around the term “nigga” like its going out of style, I can guarantee you this white boy from the ‘burbs would change his tone should he wander too far from his mother’s 60′s ranch style home and into a black neighborhood where real gangsters exist.
My favorite part of the whole thing is the numerous underlying themes of homosexuality; first he threatens to make the trip (on the bus of course, because real tough guys don’t work steady jobs or own cars) to Boston so as to sleep in this guy’s bed, then he claims he will slap around the roommate, the RA, and some of the kid’s professors (which really just translates into his desire for a masochistic orgy); after which he says “I’m gonna fuck you up” or something along those lines (threat or promise? You decide), all while his buddy dances around semi-naked in the background. Yeah, that’s about as scary as Mr. Rogers (which can be taken in a number of ways, children)
In the end however, I think we can all agree that whoever this mysterious Nick is, it is safe to say that he has no reason to be afraid… all he has to do is install one of those childproof handles on his dorm room door and he’ll be set. (cause I doubt this guy can wipe his own ass by himself, let alone crack a system designed to keep a two year old out of cupboards.)
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